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Thread: The Poo Thread 2.0

  1. #401
    Movember 2012 Stoffl's Avatar
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    I'm available, but only for direct transplants

  2. #402
    SteeleResolve's Avatar
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    Believe me, they do NOT want what I've just dropped off

  3. #403
    Totally Not Larkonnis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shaikar View Post
    Seems appropriate for some of the people in this thread.
    Think of the children, be a hero.

    https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-46944631
    'Super poo donors' wanted
    Claudia Campenella, 31, works as a student support administrator at a UK university, and in her spare time she is a poo donor.
    "Some of my friends think it is a bit weird or disgusting, but it doesn't worry me. It's very easy to donate and I just want to help with medical research. I'm glad to contribute."
    Her faeces, teeming with "good" bugs, will be put into the bowel of a sick patient to help their poorly gut get better.
    Fake.

    Girls don't poo.


  4. #404
    Lana Torrin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Totally Not Larkonnis View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Shaikar View Post
    Seems appropriate for some of the people in this thread.
    Think of the children, be a hero.

    https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-46944631
    'Super poo donors' wanted
    Claudia Campenella, 31, works as a student support administrator at a UK university, and in her spare time she is a poo donor.
    "Some of my friends think it is a bit weird or disgusting, but it doesn't worry me. It's very easy to donate and I just want to help with medical research. I'm glad to contribute."
    Her faeces, teeming with "good" bugs, will be put into the bowel of a sick patient to help their poorly gut get better.
    Fake.

    Girls don't poo.
    Except after kfc.. Everyone does it then right?.. Right?
    Quote Originally Posted by lubica
    And her name was Limul Azgoden, a lowly peasant girl.

  5. #405
    Totally Not Larkonnis's Avatar
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    Sent out to the wildly subscribed to Eve Online mailing list Stool Report tonight but shared here:

    I remember many family holidays in France. Long summer road trips where my father would refuse to engage the air conditioning because it was inefficient while allowing a gale of hot air to pass through the open windows as we sped down the route national. Once while aged 10 or 11 stopping off at a roadside 'aire' for a comfort break once I was confronted with a hole in the floor arrangement. In low light seeing a brown patch I assumed was a chip in the enamal I took poisition on the foot prints.

    It wasn't a chip in the enamal. It was shit. Shit which immediately clung to my sandals and pinky toe. Like a poor marksman some non native had missed the target.

    I had my piss and went to find an outlet to wash it off. From then on I minimised my fluid intake and held my poo until we reached our destination; somewhere with more civilised plumbing. Unfortunately this left me extremely constipated. Having recently been reading about WWII I dreamt that I was a conscript in Normandy and shot in the abdomen, abandoned by my comrades left sobbing in a ditch. I awoke being shaken by my parents.

    'Is everything alright?'
    Fuck it wasn't a dream... 'My stomach hurts. I think I've been shot.'
    They frantically checked me 'When did you last have a movement?'
    'Two days ago?'
    Being a pretty regular boy they knew something was up.
    'You're constipated, drink a load of water and go and sit on the toilet.'

    I was offered a suppository (always readily available in France) but denied it and asked for a doctor.
    'He'll just give you a suppository.'

    Eventually the pain subsided and I produced a mammoth log the next day.


  6. #406
    Shaikar's Avatar
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    https://www.bloomberg.com/news/artic...?sref=P6Q0mxvj

    New toilets on the Navy’s two newest aircraft carriers clog so frequently that the ships’ sewage systems must be cleaned periodically with specialized acids costing about $400,000 a flush, according to a new congressional audit outlining $130 billion in underestimated long-term maintenance costs.

    The Navy isn’t sure the toilet systems on the USS Gerald R. Ford and the USS George H. W. Bush can withstand the demand without failing frequently, according to the watchdog agency’s report on service sustainment costs released Tuesday.

    The new toilet, similar to what’s used on commercial aircraft, is experiencing “unexpected and frequent clogging of the system” so the “unplanned maintenance action” will be needed “for the entire service life of the ship,” the GAO said in the report requested by the Senate Armed Services Committee.

    Although the costly toilets are illustrative of the problem, “we generally did not include these types of ongoing costs in our calculation” of the Navy’s looming sustainment bill, according to the report.

    The report comes amid a debate in Congress, the Pentagon and the White House over expanding the current 293-ship Navy to 355 by the mid-2030, a Trump administration goal.

    Navy cost estimators stated that as much as $26 billion of the $130 billion estimated increase in costs “could be accounted for by process changes that resulted in including more indirect costs, such as health and child care for sailors.”

    Overall, the Ford’s estimated lifetime operations and sustainment costs have grown to $123 billion from $77.3 billion, the most of six programs GAO evaluated.

    “The Carrier toilet system is indicative of the kinds of issues we highlight in our report that are requiring more money, time, and effort to fix than originally anticipated due to a lack of adequate sustainment planning during the acquisition process,” said Shelby Oakley, a GAO director who manages the agency’s ship acquisition reviews

    “The pipes are too narrow and when there are a bunch of sailors flushing the toilet at the same time, like in the morning, the suction doesn’t work,” said Oakley. “The Navy didn’t anticipate this problem.”
    Apparently 5000odd people on a ship make a lot of poo... and that many of them would go around the same time never occurred.

    I'm also amused by the idea that somewhere there is a bunch of poo dynamics analysts who have been shouted at for doing a shit job.

  7. #407
    Movember 2012 Zekk Pacus's Avatar
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    If the food they're served is anything like MREs then it's not surprising - those things give you shits the approximate size and density of cannonballs. When I lived in Africa we did a survival course with the US Marines who were stationed on the US embassy and lived on MREs for a week, by the end of it I'm pretty sure my movements could've been used as bullets.
    'I'm pro life. I'm a non-smoker. I'm a pro-life non-smoker. WOO, Let the party begin!'

  8. #408
    Donor Spaztick's Avatar
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    The secret is to prime/powder your tank rounds, then when you gotta take a deuce you do it in the casing. Problem is you gotta practice the pinchoff in a way to make the bullet shaped just right or you really screw up the ballistics.

  9. #409
    Totally Not Larkonnis's Avatar
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    So I had the lad last week. He's been struggling a bit with keeping regular for a while... he's recently been prescribed some stuff to help him along and the ex asked me to maintain a 'Stool Diary' while he was in my care. Yesterday afternoon I sat to do my write up. With little to go off I wasn't sure how much detail to include.

    Apologies for poor scribesmanship, I've barely held a pen for the past 4 months apart from to sign the occassional log (at work!).



  10. #410
    Totally Not Larkonnis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zekk Pacus View Post
    If the food they're served is anything like MREs then it's not surprising - those things give you shits the approximate size and density of cannonballs. When I lived in Africa we did a survival course with the US Marines who were stationed on the US embassy and lived on MREs for a week, by the end of it I'm pretty sure my movements could've been used as bullets.
    I'll make a remark here... food on ships/bases is almost always a combination of fresh/frozen/tinned. The US is EXTREMELY good with regards to providing 'good' (not necessarily nutritious) food to it's troops (one of the camps I stayed at in Afghan was shared with a US unit, our chefs traded relatively fresh veg for frozen lobster tails and steaks).
    MREs/Compo and the like are a different story. I never felt particularly bunged up but whenever I did do a movement it would usually be well formed and of a good size, I think a lot of issues come from people not taking on enough water. ISTR someone telling me once that there was a policy for troops on exercise to get fed something that wasn't from a 24 hour ration pack a few times a week to ensure everything 'kept moving'.


  11. #411
    Movember 2011Movember 2012 Nordstern's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Totally Not Larkonnis View Post
    Apologies for poor scribesmanship, I've barely held a pen for the past 4 months apart from to sign the occassional log (at work!).
    Your penmanship is fine. Shit, it's way more consistent than mine.
    "Holy shit, I ask you to stop being autistic and you debate what autistic is." - spasm
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    WTF I hate white people now...
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  12. #412
    Shaikar's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Totally Not Larkonnis View Post
    So I had the lad last week. He's been struggling a bit with keeping regular for a while... he's recently been prescribed some stuff to help him along and the ex asked me to maintain a 'Stool Diary' while he was in my care. Yesterday afternoon I sat to do my write up. With little to go off I wasn't sure how much detail to include.

    Apologies for poor scribesmanship, I've barely held a pen for the past 4 months apart from to sign the occassional log (at work!).

    4/10, missing critical information such as mouthfeel and afternotes.

    How is the doctor supposed to work without that???
    Quote Originally Posted by Candy Crush
    idiotic posts out of context

  13. #413
    walrus's Avatar
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    What about the olfactory experience?
      Spoiler:
    Quote Originally Posted by RazoR View Post
    But islamism IS a product of class warfare. Rich white countries come into developing brown dictatorships, wreck the leadership, infrastructure and economy and then act all surprised that religious fanaticism is on the rise.
    Also:
    Quote Originally Posted by Tellenta View Post
    walrus isnt a bad poster.
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    also i like walrus.
    Quote Originally Posted by AmaNutin View Post
    Yer a hoot

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