Year 100 - NoirAvlaa
Our 7 dwarves arrived on the coast of the continent with 3 picks, some mushrooms and a will to strike deep into the earth. Our Expedition Leader and 2 of the best miners quickly get to work, clearing through loam, silt and eventually rock, fashioning a shaft down 20 layers and shoring up the aquifier before creating a new indoor swimming pool.
After digging through the rock to create a temporary store room, a stoneworker and a carpenter shop, the rest of the dwarves got to work unloading the wagon into the new space which would become their home and creating the doors, beds and other essential items for a thriving fortress. The miners dug out a set of bedrooms, a new tavern and a small cavern in the loam for a quick farm and distillery. Once the essentials were in work quickly progressed into carving a hole in the entrance tunnel and covering it with a drawbridge, coming in handy later when some kobold thieves arrived to steal their hard earned trinkets!
More migrants arrived throughout the year, quickening the pace and watched in awe as the woodworker Zuglar Eshtanastod enters a frenzied state, dragged some rock salt blocks into the stoneworkers and creates a perfect figurine of Damsto Newcurse the goblin and Openballs the giant dingo. This is now proudly on display in the tavern for all to admire the great dingo Openballs in his fight against the goblin in the year 82.
In celebration of the divine inspiration, a new quarter for the temples to the gods was dug out and smoothed over, with altars for all the gods now set for the dwarves to pray to!
The traders came in the autumn and happily traded our cut gems for leather, cloth, more mushrooms, a second anvile and some toys for the kids. They want Large Gems and Amulets for next year.
All in all a good year for the fledgling fort, now up to 22 dwarves in the first year with a busy tavern and all the drink a dwarf could ever want.
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Year 101 - Lachesis
After watching some bumbling, sosigfingered excuse for a Dwarf named "Noir" lose two forts in quick succession, the first to an overzealous attempt to penetrate a "light" aquifer, the second to a giant crocodile, I observed the first year of excavation at "Knifering."
Noir, despite his earlier efforts, did in fact manage to establish a reasonably self-sufficient dwarfhole, getting a complete set of bedrooms, a tavern, and a temple complex set up in the Year 100. As I watched, I planned, noting Noir's general lack of organizational acumen. On the Third of Granite 101, I, Lachesis VII, took command of the enterprise.
The first order of business was bringing order to the stockpiles. I quickly set up dedicated areas for wood, useful stone, finished goods, and furniture, and put in a large order for rock-salt blocks for construction.
Once the blocks started accumulating, I promptly replaced the crude central stairway with a much nicer, pinker version.
Did I mention that the entire fortress is pink? It's
fabulous.
For my year of absolute power, I had a few goals:
First, find the caverns.
Second, establish dorms for new migrants.
Third, begin the waterworks.
Fourth, get metal production underway and automated.
Fifth, start a mining complex.
Sixth, establish a secure outdoor pasture/farming area.
Seventh, establish an underground tree farm for tower caps, etc.
I began hunting for the caverns by dropping a shaft from an extra room next to the bustling tavern. The dwarves kept digging.... and digging. The entrance to the fort was at Z -1. The main hall at Z -20. Our miners passed Z -50 and kept going... and going.... and going. Eventually we broke through the cavern ceiling at Z -97 or so. Talk about a climb! With the caverns pierced, I quickly grated over the entrance and dug an auxiliary shaft—without stairs—for drainage purposes.
Meanwhile, I hollowed out and set up some dorms near the existing bedroom complex; this area sleeps about thirty dwarves, more than enough to handle any migrant wave.
Now, the waterworks. Noir had indeed put a drawbridge across a shallow shaft into the aquifer. It had filled up while I hunted for the caverns, and with the drainage shaft dug I now opened up the pit, which drained into the fort, out through the antechamber to the temple complex, and into the shaft to the caverns. With the pit drained, I expanded the hole into a proper cistern, and dug a second drain shaft, which, though a clever combination of floodgates and levers, I linked to the trade depot and dedicated drainage shaft. It is now possible to flood the trade depot, if the elves get too annoying. The lever system is labeled and is pretty much foolproof—even if you drain the cistern straight into the fort, the water
should all drain into the caverns far below. The cistern should also be able to be tapped for a well, underground farming, or for defense of the cavern guardhouse, though these plans remain on the drawing board.
With the caverns accessed, I started getting many petitions from folks looking to hunt monsters... though there is as yet no actual way into the caverns. I began work on a gatehouse/guardhouse down on Z-100 or so, hollowing out a large gabbro pillar in the cavern to serve as a defensible staging area, but I leave it to my successor to actually pierce the cavern walls and allow the resident adventurers into the wilds. The cave residents don't look
too intimidating, just some troglodytes, cave spiders, and a giant bat—nothing too unusual. I've setup a stoneworker shop to start making gabbro blocks from the local stone; should make it possible to fortify the caverns without having to go up 80 levels for supplies.
In sinking the cavern shaft, I ran into some hematite veins which I ordered to be excavated and, at the other end of the fort, dropped a ramp down to Z -30 and began several exploratory tunnels looking for more ore. I had the manager place standing orders for charcoal burning and hematite smelting and, after a bit more planning, began a flux stockpile and a chalk mine to start the process of making steel. The fort should have no shortage of quality weapons and armor.
While all this was going on, I also set about carving out part of the hillside and walling it off to form a protected pasture and outdoor farm. Once established, I set up a number of beehives; the fort is now home to perhaps 75,000 bees. Hope no one's allergic. The outdoor farm is accessed from a second drawbridge, linked to the same lever as the main drawbridge—the fort should be easy enough to seal off if (when) goblins come calling. I trapped the entrances with cages and stonefall traps, though thieves still keep making off with items now and again. The walls are incomplete, but provide basic protection. Plenty of blocks in the stockpile to finish them.
Finally, I began excavating a quartet of large, seven-level-deep tower cap farms. These remain incomplete as of First Granite, 102, and so my successor will have to finish those. Just be careful channeling out the floors.
All in all I'd say Year 101 was quite productive. The fort now has a population of 40, perhaps ten of whom are visiting warriors with a lust for troglodyte blood. Food production needs a bit of managing; we're not low, exactly, but I'm terrible at farming. While we have clothing workshops, no actual clothing industry has been established because we have no source of fiber for cloth. A hospital (and a well to go with it) is necessary if folks are going to go spelunking in the cavern—just be careful tapping the cistern. More dedicated bedrooms should be dug out, etc, etc, etc, and the tavern could use a few bedrooms as well, since right now visitors are just passing out on the dance floor. Also, the stockpiles could use even further sorting, in particular a dedicated set of metalworking stockpiles would be handy, to keep the dwarves from storing stone blocks and metal bars in the same bins.
We had a number of strange moods strike this year, but little in the way of useful creations. A masterpiece mechanism, a very fancy animal trap, and, perhaps the only truly valuable object, a masterwork opal. Noir started a tradition of placing masterpieces on pedestals in the tavern, I have kept this tradition up.
Two trade caravans stopped by, human and dwarven. The humans didn't have much to offer; we loaded them down with a few second-rate statutes. The dwarves had a good supply of cloth that we traded for amulets (as requested in 100) and some gems and iron bars. Next year they want bracelets, if the next Autocrat of Knifering cares to make any. I requested a variety of poultry; we have a pair of geese but really, a chicken farm would be a good idea.
I'll close with a few screenshots, for the the sake of orienting the next prefect of this hole.
Status display. Need to brew more drink; I've set up a second still in the tavern, there's plenty of brewable plant material. Dwarves are mostly happy.
Z 0. The entrance and outdoor farm/pasture/apiary.
Z -8. The bottom of the cistern and the main stairway. The floodgate and drop shaft are open now; the shaft should have enough water to flood the trade depot if any elves show up.
Z -16. The flux mine, set into the bottom-most layer of chalk (well below the aquifer). The cistern shaft is visible on the west.
Z -20. The main floor. Workshops down the center, with raw materials to the north and finished goods to the south. Southwest is the bedrooms and dorms, northwest is the tavern and lever control room.
Closeup of the lever room. To the west is the shaft to the caverns. The northwest lever drops the floodgate, sealing the cavern shaft. The northeast lever raises the drawbridges. The four levers in the southeast control opening and closing the cistern, sealing the trade depot, flooding the trade depot, and draining the trade depot. There's a grate to make sure that goods from the depot don't get washed into the drainage system when the depot is un-flooded.
Z -21. The temple complex and the start of the tree farm. The channel to the west of the main stairwell drains the cistern into the cavern shaft. It can also drain the fort proper if it somehow floods.
Z -30. The entrance to the mines, with ramps to the west that go up to the workshops on Z -20. The staircase to the east descends as far as Z -50, mostly through granite, marble, and gneiss.
A few hematite veins have been uncovered between Z -25 and Z -40, like this one at Z -29 (dug off the cavern access shaft rather than the primary mine shaft).
Z -75. Cavern access shaft and cistern drain.
Z -97(!!!). The cistern drain grate, bottom of the cavern access shaft, and the passageway to the cavern guardhouse.
Z -99. The cavern guardhouse. My thinking was that a gatehouse can be built on the western side, with various rooms blocked out through building walls. Might be a good place to set up a barracks. Or maybe a cavern tavern! Near as I can tell this is the first cavern layer, at least based upon the unremarkable fauna inside, lack of magma, gems, etc. I leave it for future itendants to dig for the magma sea.
And last, a brief demonstration of the drainage system in a worst-case-scenario, demonstrating the "safety" features. In this state, the cistern gate is open; the depot gate is about to be opened with the depot unsealed. Ordinarily, you'd seal the depot, open the cistern and depot floodgates, then close the cistern and depot floodgates and open the depot drain, without any water entering the fort. Here, we dump the entire cistern into the main floor to no ill effect:
Pressurized water issues forth into the fort as the cistern drains:
On the temple level, water flows down and into the drain channel, thence into the cavern shaft.
Flooding on the main level remains manageable.
Eventually water reaches the cavern drain, and safely flows into the cavern below. The cavern guardhouse does not get wet. A full cistern dump disperses into the cavern; there's no river but it would take quite a bit of effort to actually flood the cavern, given its size and the fact that the cistern is fed by a light aquifer. However if you
want to flood the caverns, the far western edge of the map does have a few ocean tiles. . .
The main fort quickly drains down to 1-deep water. No injuries reported.
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Year 102 - LobbyZ
First time writing an AAR.
The fortress was quite.. a maze. A lot of tunnels and went deep. Very deep. First few days of the new year went pretty okay. Until it did not.
Two kobold thieves came into the fortress seeking treasures so the squad was activated and ordered to hunt them down. The traps meant to stop them did not trigger. Possibly a spy inside?
Sadly they managed to escape. With what? Nobody will ever know because the stockpiles are quite.. a mess. Probably valuable gems but those are dime a dozen. Luckily they did not steal Nadakushul, an gabbro weapon rack worth over several thousands according to the broker. This had to be sold to a caravan for important goods sadly.
Then migrants came bolstering the fort to a respectable fifty people. We also continued the previous ruler's decree of PINKIFING everything and we turned the big Temple complex to PINK. The subjects were confused but elated.
Some mining jobs had to be cancelled because it was becoming too dangerous for the dorflings to dig out and not fall several levels down to the bottom. I suspect this will be restarted under a perhaps more dictator ruler?
Focus was made on food and drinks to ensure that they survive my reign. This however attracted something... Unwanted. A Minotaur arrived by the border, not deep down. The drawbridge to the fort was raised and the soldiers was told to ready up and station just in case however.. It was revealed that a child was missing. We questioned everyone and the child went outside to play but there was nothing we could do. One child versus the entire fort, the decision was made to let the child die.
However increasing pressure from the military got the better of me and we lowered the drawbridge ordering the military to kill the Minotaur. They left plus another dorf meant to rescue or return the remains of the child. All three soldiers died quite fast however the fourth dorf, who is not even in the military, took down the Minotaur with relatively ease or perhaps luck considering it was bleeding. Her story says otherwise and that she took it down with just an pickaxe. Not sure who to believe.
There was no hospital or tombs whatsoever since it seems the previous rulers thought there would be no need. Oh were they wrong.
An emergency hospital and tomb area was built and the injured Minotaur slayer was eventually healed and returned to service. We built several coffins for the deceased and went back to rebuilding what we had lost and working on more food and drinks.
Turns out the gods did not want us to succeed as three goblin kidnappers arrived however they were luckily stopped by cage traps by the entry. I had a meeting with the more elder dorfs and decided to just drown them in water so a pit was quickly built and the three cages was put on the bottom with water slowly going above their heads and filling up. There was an plan to seal it off with flooring too.
After that, the days and months went by pretty well.
However again, either by bad luck or just pure spite by the gods.. A strong Wereiguana arrived with azure eyes and cinnamon scales. It ran real fast right outside our entry so there was no point in raising the drawbridge as several dorfs was engaged in battle.
We raised the army quickly which had gone up to seven able bodied citizens armed with axes and picks and told them to kill the beast before it kills us all. Several dorfs died and many more got injured.
We started with 40, swelled up to 50 with migrants and ended up with 44 all in a short span of a few months. Several new coffins was ordered for the dead and the hospital was quite busy.
But you know the tale of werebeasts.. Do not let them bite or touch you. Sadly one dorf ignored that and turned into a beast in the middle of the staircase but was struck down pretty fast before it managed to hurt anyone. So we're down to 43 citizens now.
Approaching winter, there is not much else to say or write. One miner went mad with sadness due to the loss they had seen and was struck down by an experienced hammerdwarf so the fortress has now 42 citizens.
The year is 103 and the new ruler will have a lot of things to do. I pray for their success.
Here's some pics, it was quite wild. In no particular order
Sneaky kobolds managing to avoid the traps.
The capture of three stinky goblins and a fourth one died! Victor!
Their new home. It was filled with water to 7/7, the pit is like 2 levels deep with tasks telling them to keep filling it up.
Uh-oh
Stay away, Minotaur
Sacrifice
Minotaur Slayer Kivish!
Hospital and tombs, tomb was expanded and filled with used coffins. There is a lot.
P I N K
Goddamnit.
Go away.
Death of the angry furry
[/QUOTE]
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Year 103 - Jack Coutu
I inherited the overseer position upon the 4th full year of this fortress. I have sat back and read the reports of the previous overseers. It did not prepare me for what awaited my eyes. This report finds you at the completion of my tenure and I am warning you now, it will obscure many things that will befuddle you, but hopefully, many wrongs have been made right. I beg of you to ignore the gaping flaws in the fortress as I am sure many more will be created in your care. Be sure to drink heavily during your reign, you will need it.
Immediately upon being given the high honor of stewardship of the fortress I noticed our population was decent, around 42. Sadly the previous owners failed to mention that 16 of these residents were "monster slayers" who despite the previous overseer being overrun with monsters, had done nothing but drink and party while many citizens had been slain. More so there had been many thefts while these people did fuck all in the tavern.
There was no record as to who admitted them in, or who even granted OUTSIDERS access while we had no defenses. Nevertheless, trespass notices were handed out immediately, and the actual working population, half of which was producing food and drinking for a bunch of scum mercs, was suddenly apparent. Twenty adults and six very upset children. Hopefully cleaning the place up would improve the chances of migrants, who we needed desperately considering the amount of work not being done after a month of watching it sit and be ignored.
There was however one visitor above our eviction notices, a human noblewoman/lasher. Whatever I'm sure she'll just leave eventually right? Nothing that will bind her to the place forever right?
I immediately set about automating barrel, bin, jug, and food production, limited metal production away from "infinite bars" to reasonable limits and began construction of bedrooms for our hopeful expansion. Also began the construction of iron armor pieces, as well as war hammers and battle axes. Keeping true to the designers of the past, I dismantled some workshops and replaced them with things needed, and expanded stockpiles. We had no method for extracting honey from honeycombs so I rectified this, found the pasture to be overcrowded, and began culling animals. Alpacas and geese make up our staple food sources, eggs, cheese, and meats. A few emergency orders of clothing began being placed when I noticed we hadn't even begun shearing animals. My reign is mostly one so far of housekeeping. The workshop area is an alleyway with stockpiles to the north and south.
Some culling, puppies were an accident, but good god there were many.
With most of the labor sorted our first wave of migrants arrived and brought the population up to 35! No children accompanied them. A great relief. Nine extra hands begins to make the fort actually move. It is now late spring and the humans arrive with a caravan, most trash, but a few bins of leather and some animals for meat are traded for our insanely large horde of cut gems.
The first great construction project is completed, the "FHC" tavern is expanded and decorated with the finest gold opal, a figurine of exquisite beauty and just as we are finishing it a child is possessed and makes a very cute pink boat called a "rifter" to place in the tavern. The statues appear to the outsiders eye as cubes but any resident will tell you they are beautiful pink eggplants littering every corner of the tavern.
The second construction project is also completed. The bedrooms are needed, and more will have to come, as the fort grows. I have embarked on a tomb area (needed after the many ill omens of the 3rd year suffered by lobbyz) and made room for 4 grand tombs.
The second migrant wave has arrived, bringing the numbers up to 52, and bringing with it the election of a mayor. Welcome to the halls of power idiot.
At this point I was starting to build barracks so I assigned the captain of the guard to some random, the militia commander position to the glorious miner Kivish S who went out and murdered the minotaur in the ill-fated year of 102. I made one squad of war hammer dorfs, one of battle axe dorfs. Little refinement was given to the choices, but the mood of many improved after training. They are 2 months training, 1 month off to ensure a little more labor is one hand.
Other happenings of note. The human noble that we cannot oust has had a son. Therefore they are not stuck here and there is little chance this will end well without more humans being allowed back into the fort. The year is ending tho and she is assigned a bedroom. We hope this child will become dwarven in culture if not in stature. The mayor and captain of the guard have been assigned decorated offices and bedrooms, meanwhile, the positions of dungeon master, hammerer, and many others go unfilled. This has been a very calm year due to the sealing of the gates to scum for now, but the next overseer has much to do in terms of organizing the society and making choices about what to rip down and what to build up.
God help you though, the added population and wealth created means others are taking notice. Our fledging military will not be enough to stop serious invaders but we have plenty of food and drink to resist a siege and plenty of steel made to forge better armor and weapons once smiths are allocated. Of the most pressing matters, the lack of ANY coal or lignite to be found means all smelting is powered by charcoal, incredibly wasteful and perhaps another round of engineer oversight will find the time to make magma a priority.
The barracks and noble bedrooms/study area
The main floor and wealth estimate
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Year 104 - I Legionnaire
Taking over on the first day 104 my attention is immediately drawn to the sorry state of our fortifications. Bare walls with trees hanging over into our gardens...
We are beset on all sides by the gobbo hordes, thieving green scum seeking to raid our fortress for gems. (no seriously, we're smack dab in the middle of a goblin civ)
My immediate plans are to strengthen the above-ground defenses and equip our existing military with steel gear.
It's not long until the first raiding party arrives, early summer sees the ground soaked in blood.
A civilian working on the great wall of Urist is hunted down and shot by the invading gobbos before he can reach the safety of our underground burrows. Vengeance shall be in his name.
Our trap corridor accounts for a few of the invaders before I unleash the squads onto the survivors. One particularly clumsy hammerdorf slips and falls into our water-pit, drowning.
The others pin down and massacre the two remaining gobbo archers.
Now we turn our eye toward the ones we've trapped.
This one knows what's to come, Urist offers no quarter to greenskin scum.
I've excavated an execution chamber at the end of our armory hall. Future mayors may wish to expand this space into a gladiator pit where captives can fight cave dwellers. I didn't get to that.
The prisoners are relieved of their arms and used as practice dummies by our newly combat-blooded dorfs.
If it is a war they want a war they shall have. Urist wills it!
Our dorfen army is not yet mighty, but we shall take the fight to the enemy.
The gobbos established a new village nearby with less than 10 residents. Would be a shame if we sacked them and took over their stinking shitpile. The soldiers are recalled by our messenger following the takeover.
Apparently this pissed off the gobbos enough to send a second raiding party. I'm not sure why they're sending small parties, this was another six or so archer gobbos. No casualties on our side and the traps worked a treat.
I did some other not super important stuff like mine and expand our quarters to accommodate the ~35 new dorfs that showed up over the course of the year. Unfortunately my fortifications work was mostly for naught as there's a bug with marksdorf squads where they won't equip bolts. Pretty frustrating.
New fortifications. Note that there's an atom smasher bottom left to help get rid of trash and corpses. Lever is by the front gate.
With all of the new dorfs and plenty of weaponry in the fort I hope my successor drafts a couple new squads and marches on our stinky neighbors.
With that I hand off my crown
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Year 105 - Venec
Right so, thanks to all people before me the basic stuff like food and booze (the most important stuff really) are *mostly* sorted out (looking at you honey production with your 24/7 job cancellations), I did two things:
1) Sorting out the military uniforms and decking out our alcoholic midgets with some proper gear:
And not one moment too soon, since spring open up with a kobolds:
By that time I had a sneaking feeling this will be a rough ride.
2) Clicking the world map and realizing HOLY SHIT THERE'S A LOT OF GOBBOS
However:
--
But first things first, I've drafted additional squad of randomly kitted out militia, filled up the two squads we already had and set them to train. Meanwhile, I've sent out our messenger to errrr establish diplomatic relations with elves and humans by demanding ransom:
Which is funny because the messenger returned with NOTHING, cheap bastards!
Next were humans:
Give that nerd tower a WIDE BERTH MAN
Actually, very helpful
---
Somewhere around late spring, we've run out of coal and since we haven't been able to struck any lignite or bituminous coal, I've decided to clear cut the surface for. The fuels of war resumed churning the murder butter, with one small hiccup:
Doing your part buddy!
Right, things were kinda quiet, and our military looked great:
Mebzuth not even wearing pants, Armok bless that lass.
I decided on a cheeky hello to our gob neighbours:
aaaaand with success!
From now on I've decided on constant attacks on neighbouring gobbo pits, and for the most part (we've lost one dog in an autumn raid, armok bless that good boy) it went without any problems; our raiders were even bringing decent iron equipment back from their raids.
---
Roll summer:
Think gobs got tad annoyed with us:
Unlucky for them, they spawned right next to some random tavern guest which couldn't path his way to the tavern (it's an actual problem, idk why but there are some big pathing issues in the fort):
Who then proceeded to deck couple of them before getting decked himself, the goblins leave after that, satisfied.
Big F lad, you were a miracle.
I was however not satisfied and immedietly sent *whole* military out on another raid. Which is funny cause just after they left the undead from that nerd tower came for a visit:
Lucky for us, they're dumb and slow as bricks and just hanged around the map edge as I frantically called off the raid and got everyone inside:
Our dwarves are apparently not big on pants:
Also, this ghost has been haunting the fort for the better part of the year, giving otherworldly PTSD like candy, *especially* to our kids (which will come bite us in the ass). Liked hanging around the battles too:
Named him Jeff, The Friendly Ghost.
Battle itself was rather anticlimactic because cage traps are v. op, captured most of the undead bois, hacked the rest to pieces and we continued with our goblin bullying. As for the prisoners (which were accumulating, from raids, thief visits and so on. Since it gets very lonely down there in the dungeon, I've decided to put them in the tavern to cheer up our dwarves with their funny antics and screeching.
sup
---
Autumn came AND HOLY SHIT WHAT IS THAT
Yeaaaah not dealing with it, just let the cavern creatures deal with it (they didn't, cavern floor by the end of the year got *very* crunchy). Whoever breaches the caverns, have fun!
Meanwhile, we've got our first murder, miner was found dead in the farms. Next to him was very sussy looking kid:
No idea what happened, certainly it wasn't some kind of reaction by being spooked by our resident Casper:
Nop, not even a bit:
By popular vote on Discord (only Freddy replied) I've named him Freddy Gruber.
---
Not much happened in autumn, but oh boy, winter.
Started off with this chefs kiss artefact:
Decided to put it in the tavern, till someone figures out what to do with it.
I thought I will have a smooth ride till the end of the year till A GOD DAMM HYDRA CAME:
(seriously, I got 3 gob sieges, 2 undead ones, FB and a hydra)
Rallied our military:
Battle was actually long, since Hydras are tought and despite being dogpiled by fully decked steel dwarves, it still managed to rip one to shreds (saw an arm and a leg fly off somewhere, v funny to see), seriously wound couple more before finally succumbing to its immense wounds:
And the credit goes to our Chief Popo:
I left it's corpse at the entrance for someone next to figure out what to do with it:
And with that my year is done.
---
Couple of notes:
-pay no attention to statues
-there's some weird pathing issues with tavern guests; they just hang around the surface and I can't get dwarves to go down the ramps on the main workshop floor down into the mining shafts, something is fucky but I couldn't figure out what
-haven't done any expansion, except for digging out marble for steel industry (whoever automated that - you're the MVP), was mostly concnerned with murdering gobs, managed to get their 2k pop capital down to 1k after had to repop 10 or more sites I've razed
-we've got now 3 full squads of equipped badasses, you can easily expand that into more since I ordered more basic iron equipment for civilian militia
-I've setup military uniforms to work, if they don't have the equipment it means it's either not yet produced or they haven't got around to it due to constant training
-there's been couple of deaths of some unimportant dwarves, mainly failed fey moods (couldn't get rough gems, prob should stop auto cutting them)
-pay no attention to statues
-next year we should start getting elf and human merchants
-fort runs smoothly with basic stuff
-there's HIDDEN FUN STUFF left by me, and it def doesn't have to do anything with statues
Glory to Armok.
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Year 106 - Hels
A messenger had come for me in the early evening. I was being dispatched? To where? Knifering? Never heard of the place. I peppered the young unbearded Dwarf for more information. Apparently the settlers of 'Knifering' had brought it upon themselves to not only setting on some low coastal flat lands with little to no valuable known deposits, but also well within goblin territory to boot. To make matters worse, they had begun to actively enrage their small green neighbors through steel and fire, and seemed to be hellbent on challenging the very notion that they could survive there. Despite all this, their colony had already grown to a respectable size, and was beginning to garner more attention from the Mountainhome and others. I was informed to pack provisions and set out in the morning.
Upon my arrival I was first stricken by the domain's architecture, or apparently, lack thereof. Stepping around the dead and battered hydra that lay at the thoroughly unremarkable front gate, I presented the decree to the first dwarf I had come across. His beady brown eyes stared at the paper without a single hint of intellect, before he handed it back to me, his only remarks on the quality of the wax seal. This first interaction should count as foreshadowing to the remainder of my interactions with the residents of Knifering. Before long I found my way to the small antechamber at the bottom of the main staircase, sat at a desk was my predecessor, and small, sickly looking dwarf with a nervous look about him. I introduced myself, explaining the change of leadership, and with a single startled screech that I could only describe as half relief and half witted, he darted from the makeshift office, disappearing into the gloom above. Later inquiry would detail that his name was Venec, and his affinity for Opossums was something of a concern to the metalsmiths.
I cleared off his things, which consisted entirely of 4 stacks of parchment with various statues of opossums in a variety of ordinary and... sensual... poses, and 12 half eaten plump helmets, and set to work. First things first, I drafted up a letter to butcher the fort's latest kill, the Hydra of Mosloun Oxaspulu that was quickly spoiling outside the front gate.
The bounty was smaller than I had hoped, but the barrels were quickly stocked with fresh meat and offal, with the remainder being set aside to cure in the sun.
Second order of business was to shore up the fort's meager defenses. A prime example of the sheer lack of engineering contained within the fortress was readily apparent upon approach
Working tirelessly I drafted up a small engineering feat, surprised at the ample levels of supplies available for construction. I had brought with me a copy of plans that were deemed for Dwarven Eyes Only, breaking the bright red wax seal of the leather envelop. Contained within was what one would deem a small marvel, with full design notes to weaponize tools into becoming something vastly more formidable. I set the fort to immediately begin construction, erecting multiple bridges to channel enemy forces, securing power sources and the entrance further. As we laid the last stone block for the extended entrance, forward scouts reported and small band of goblins approaching from the south. Absolute perfect timing. I recalled ever civilian inside the boundaries of the fort, positioning the active military units just inside the main doors. I was unsure of my creation, and the best defense still remains within the hands of a well trained and bored Hammerdwarf. A lone human archer was the first victim of the new weapon, with a flaw of the design finding himself pushed down into the pit below instead of ground into a pulp. Apparently he was a resident, but I had yet to meet the non-Dwarven citizens, finding my interviews with the true and proper dwarves to take vastly longer than expected with their incessant need for me to repeat myself and use simple language. He shortly found himself a partner in the pit, as the minecart pushed a goblin off the path, also unfazed. This was concerning, but mostly for the human who, instead of protecting himself, allowed the goblin to pepper him with arrows until he succumbed to a critical lack of blood. Unfortunate. A second goblin would find himself in the pit shortly thereafter, and the siege would break, as a lone hammerdwarf caught outside searching for a misplaced wood log would make quick work of the remainder of the squad. We unset the bridges and neutralized the two unlucky goblins before retrieving the fresh human corpse for apparently dwarven burial.
I ordered the modification of the front gate, and content with the security of the fortress, set my sights to the caverns below. The citizens had breached the first layers some years back, only placing their foothold in the underground int he form of a single stonecutter's workshop and not much else to show for it. With their proclivity to find and defeat the goblin encampments around them, it was a small curiosity why the same level of attention had not been paid to the fungal wildlands beneath their feet. I dispatched the military to begin a full survey of the underground, mapping each nook and cranny. They reported finding multiple geode formations, which we cracked open in short order, searching for treasures within.
This endeavor turned out to me a massive disappointment, with the collective contents being magma,
water,
air and a single ancient brine monster that was quickly dispatched with a blow to the chest.
The next few months would pass without event, I set the citizens to work expanding the small room at the entrance to the caverns, designating it as the new guest tavern to keep them a more appropriate distance away from the main populace. I spent my time reviewing work orders and stockpiles, drumming up more orders for arms and armor, and picking the most worthy of peasants to begin training with their newly forged spears.
With the arrival of the annual caravan, we were bestowed marvelous news
From my extensive interviews, the citizens self selected for the position of Baron/Baroness, with the majority being over qualified, under qualified, too bright, or not dwarven enough, there was truly only one dwarf for the job.
The caravan was remarkably light on any manner of useful provisions, so I traded away the large pile of useless trinkets and took the entirety of their food stocks. With the seasons beginning to turn, our time for campaigning would begin, and a small bump of foodstuffs would see us thru the winter until the military could return to work the fields again.
I poured over the gathered intelligence of the local civilizations. A few were relatively small, and well within an easy walk. I marked two for destruction and one for plunder, giving my captains their marching orders and seeing them off into the wilderness.
As the squads marched away, reports flooded up from the underground, a Forgotten Beast had been spotted in the northeast corner. I took quick stock of the available armed members,
I was certain they would be of some use. I set out tracking the beast and its movements. It seemed to be perplexed by the large lake that inhabited the corner, just as these monster 'slayers' were equally perplexed by the notion of leaving the tavern, moving their useless bodies into the cavern and moving to do what they said they were here to do.
The Beast left our domain peacefully, defeated by the small lake that stood before it and the Fortress' cavern entrance. These men are an excellent use of our wine.
Meanwhile, the armies made their triumphant return. No tribute was paid, because all that was offered was the bones of small animals and a finely shaped pile of mud. However, the razings were complete and given only a paltry resistance.
Spurred by our successes, I handed out a fresh set of orders to my captains, wanting them to avoid being too comfortable and losing their collective equipment in a stockpile. But as would luck would have it, a goblin raiding party had the same idea. Alarms were raised, the barriers shut and our secret weapon activated. As luck would also have it, the goblin band met a departing hammerdwarf by the name of Kivish, who promptly introduced them to her hammer, forcing them to flee as she downed over half of the attackers in a whirlwind of hammer strikes and parries. However, due to a minor miscommunication, this lone hammerdwarf found herself at the bottom of a drowning pool. A small rescue was mounted to recover her equipment, and for her service, I designated she be laid to rest in a sarcophagus within the main dining hall, as a reminder to these cretins called citizens of what values a true dwarf embodies: alcohol, hard work, and hammers.
The new entrance defenses claimed a second hammerdwarf and a human axeman, but the improvements cannot be understated. Instead of safely landing in a pit below, they were thoroughly mashed through their armor against the newly installed walls.
I write this memoir for my colleague who should succeed me. I have bestowed a terrible power upon these people, something to be used with vicious purpose, but with a cold efficiency in the defense of the fortress.
------------------------------------
Year 107 - NoirAvlaa
Coming back to the site I started 7 years ago to see how my successors have managed to maintain the fort, and I can only say it's a bit of a mess. A quick accounting showed me:
- A minecart smasher in the entrance of questionable design.
- A cemetery in the middle of a passageway.
- A dwarf called "Momuz Rimtarsterus - Murder Enthusast" which was forever angry with the world.
- A tavern in the caverns full of "monster slayers" which were only good for slaying our drinks.
- Possum statues. So many possum statues.
- A lot of angry goblin villages surrounding the fort.
- A healthy metal smelting industry and 5 fully kitted out squads of hardened dwarves.
- A Forgotton Beast trapped accross a lake in the caverns, at least we don't need to worry about that!
So first order of business was to start planning a mist generator for our citizens' tavern, displacing 2 dwarfs out of their bedrooms to make room for some pumps and hollowing out a shaft (heh) directly above to link to the surface where I can get some wind power hooked up. After a lot of fucking around, trying to stay ahead of water from the aquifer and smoothing all the walls, and generally fucking up the process we now have a mist generator in our main tavern making our dwarves much happier to drink!
Some elves showed up during this and cried about trees or something, told those hippies to piss right off. Then a few goblin raids appeared, killed a child before getting turned into jelly. Turns out our children have no fear of goblins and no respect for burrows. I raised the side bridges which accidentally catapulted our mayor into the pit, so I left him there for a couple of months to think about how not to be an idiot before digging him out and letting other dwarves shout at him again.
So remember that Forgotton Beast stuck on the other side of a lake? Well another Forgotten Beast showed up asserted dominance of the lake side, before having a battle to the death with a Giant Bat. There were no survivors. Shortly after this a third Beast showed up inside the caverns and proceeded directly to the cavern tavern, which at the time was full of bards and
monster slayers not doing their fucking job. We watched as it walked up the stairs, openned the door and every dwarf in the tavern turned to see who had disturbed their rave. A bunch of arrows knocked it over, and our brave dwarf "Stodir Whiskeredbasements", a marksdwarf who was about to become famous, saunters over and
kicks it's head off. To no fanfare at all everyone in the tavern quickly resume the party and ignore the festering body of the Forgotten Beast stuck in the doorway. A steel statue was commisioned for Stodir and is now proudly displayed down there so that all who come to the Cavern Tavern know what we expect of our monster slayers.
In other news we were visited by a caravan who promptly left as they couldn't get to the trade depot, so I set about mining a spiral ramp through 10 levels of aquifer and attaching a drain at the bottom to our existing drain system, the next caravan should have no problems reaching the depot now.
We also now have a Baron and 2 Hillocks nearby, showing our status in the world is growing!
The coffins in the hallway have now all been moved down to the catacombs, a newly excavated area by the temples, and some more larger tombs have been designated to the nobles. The nobles also have some lovely new apartments to live in.
I had a look over the justice in this fort, and it has been sorely neglected. There were many cases of violence from "Momuz Rimtarsterus - Murder Enthusast" so I convicted them and set about building a dungeon and appointing a new Hammerer. Unfortunately before the sentence could be served they went into another rage and attacked our resident doctor who managed to defend themselves enough to kill Momuz but suffered heaavy bleeding and also died in the attempt. So we're down a doctor, but the happiness of the fort should go up overall now we don't have a resident Murder Enthusiast constantly breaking everyone's things.
All in all a good year for the fort, we're sitting at 157 population with some nice new engineering projects complete, it's time to pass the buck onto the next administrator and relax.
And here's some pics of the current state:
New catacombs
Mist generator
Stodir Whiskeredbasements
Nobles' quarters
Totally not flooded trade depot
------------------------------------
Year 108 - Lachesis
Attention denizens, guests, and prisoners.
By necessity, and with the full support of our reorganized and substantially enlarged military, I, Lachesis VII, have declared myself Dictator of Knifering. All succession rights have been suspended. Do not attempt to contact loved ones, the mountain home, or attorneys.
Any dwarf who fails to display the required embossed black velvet painting of Stodir Whiskeredbasements will be shot.
The Hammerer will be by to distribute alcohol in the morning. Anyone caught interfering in the distribution of alcohol will be shot.
Remain calm. Stay in your burrows. Relax. Avoid panic buying. The number one enemy of progress is questions. Shut up. Be happy. The ordinary succession will resume once the emergency passes (tomorrow, I think).
In the year of Armok 107, on the First of Granite, I, Lachesis VII, returned to the fortress of Knifering to observe the second reign of NoirAvlaa, the fortress' founder and first intendant. Knowing I was to assume power after his return to the mountainhome, I sought to familiarize myself with the many changes and "improvements" made to the fort during the years following my last visit.
I had eagerly read dispatches from other commanders, but what I saw with Noir astounded me. Very little meaningful work had been done—yes the fort's population had increased, and we had some more amenities, but in terms of productive capacity little had changed. The workshop floor was essentially the same as I had left it. So, as Noir worked, I began planning for my time in power, determined to solve the major bottleneck in the fort's productive capacity: its dependence upon wood for fuel. Moreover, I judged that the current source of mechanical power, windmills, was simply too vulnerable, as the various power shafts created openings into the fort, and the windmills themselves were vulnerable to attack from large creatures.
On the last day of Obsidian, 107, Noir departed the fort and handed me the keys to the lever system. By this time, I had a plan.
First off, I noted that Noir's new trade depot was subject to constant flooding, but lacked: a) adequate static drainage, and b) a way to seal the depot to deal with merchants who charge too much for their wares. So I installed more drains and some floodgates, though in my merciful wisdom declined to actually make the depot sealable, though the mechanisms to do so are present.
Meanwhile, shortly after I took command, another forgotten beast arrived—the first of many, as it turned out.
Aril Fosiga Lek was soon beset by the valiant war dog ushrir Narkib, who perished in the struggle.
However, the dog's sacrifice allowed valiant human pikeman monster slayer Tis Peromucaf time to get to the fight; Tis promptly impaled the forgotten beast through the head, striking it down.
A statue commemorating this event was commissioned and placed into the cavern tavern. I also commissioned a statue for Stodir Wiskerdbasements, the marksdwarf who kicked Cakuth's head off.
Meanwhile, I began laying out my grand engineering project. The first step was to strike for the lower caverns and the magma sea, which I located at Z -116. Upon breaching the magma sea, the miners informed me that they had seen raw adamantine.
I leave it to future rulers to take advantage of this discovery; with our industry in the sorry state I found it in, extracting adamantine strands was simply too much, too soon.
After locating the caverns, I ordered the miners to dig a pair of channels deep in the mountain, and excavate a grand powerplant hall above these channels. Then, we began digging for the ocean, hundreds of urists above the powerplant.
While this work was underway, yet another forgotten beast appeared!
Tis Peromucaf leapt into action, but was struck down by the vile creature's venom, and perished on the stairway below the cavern tavern.
Meanwhile, one of the fortress' own valiant axedwarves, Morul Atisasol Aristetol Edol joined the fray, and proceeded to take a bite out of the giant worm—not with her axe, but with her teeth! Though this wound was not mortal, Morul soon slew the worm, adding it to her substantial list of kills. A statute was commissioned to memorialize the battle.
For her valor, she was appointed commander of the fort's reorganized militia. The military has been rationalized and reorganized into six squads:
The Hammerers, commanded by the captain of the guard, and equipped entirely with hammers.
The Mountain Axes and the Cavern Axes, commanded by the Militia Commander, Morul, and another axe dwarf. These squads have eight axes and two crossbows.
Phalanx I and Phalanx II, each with 10 speardwarves.
The Walls, a squad entirely of crossbow dwarves.
The Phalanxes and Walls were assigned defensive burrows at the front gate and fortifications, respectively.
I also set up an area for siege operator training, constructing catapults and ballistae next to the barracks, and installed four catapults on the fort's battlements.
By 5th Limestone, construction on the powerplant hall, the ocean ducts, and the drainage channels was complete, and water began to flow into the depths of the fortress, mighty, powerful, and
safely contained.
A pair of waterwheels was constructed to test the flow, and lo, Armok deemed us worthy—the water was indeed
flowing. Infinite power was at hand.
But now came the difficult part. This power was to be harnessed for one primary purpose: to lift magma from the great sea and into the fort. To that end, as soon as I took command I ordered the forges to construct fifty iron pipe sections and fifty enormous iron corkscrews. Thankfully the iron industry I started during my first tenure had built up a stockpile of several hundred iron bars—enough for the task at hand. But industry was not enough: ingenuity was required to design the pump stack, and an iron hand was needed to oversee its construction.
There were no obvious places that would allow a clean dig straight to the magma sea; the best layout I was able to conceive nevertheless pierced the third cavern layer, necessitating painstaking construction of walls and floors to ensure magma-tightness. But the work was ordered, and by late autumn, the excavation was complete. I then painstakingly ordered the construction of nearly fifty screw pumps, a score of waterwheels, and all of the necessary mechanical linkages.
At about this time, a gorlak decided to enter the fort through the cavern tavern. This poor beast was harried by the dogs, retching and bleeding all over the tavern, though it showed no signs of aggression.
A stalemate ensued, with the dogs unable to kill the creature, but the creature unwilling to retreat. So I sent the military after it. And who responded but the fortress' most faithful servant, Morul Atisasol Aristetol Edol! Naked and unarmed, she jumped into the fray and slew the gorlak.
Shortly thereafter came a goblin siege. A small one—only six of the wretched greenskins. The Mountain Axes were dispatched, and one brave dwarf, Edzul Kegethalath, rushed ahead of her squad and, naked but for a shield and her axe, single-handedly dispatched the entire invading force with such vigor that goblin bits were left hanging in the trees.
A statute was, of course, commissioned in honor of this glory.
Almost immediately after the goblins were massacred, a representative of the nearby necromancer tower showed up, requesting a parley.
We do not negotiate with the undead, and this request was promptly denied. The representative departed without conflict.
By this time it was midwinter, and the pump stack was nowhere near completed. With a heavy heart, and mindful of the potential consequences, I decided to seize absolute power until such time as the grand engineering project could be completed. The glorious ends
justified the means.
Throughout the first year, our population continued to swell, approaching 200 dwarves. Discontent at the harsh labor conditions mounted, and soon a peasant was found dead in the upper levels of the fort.
An investigation soon revealed that Erib Obokamal Saredos Morul, a stoneworker and hammerdwarf, was the culprit. His tantrum had also destroyed numerous workshops. Curiously, however, nobody actually saw him kill the peasant, and so I was unable to convict him of this heinous crime. Erib was imprisoned for 150 days in the newly constructed dungeon.
Unfortunately, my dungeon expansion project was not without incident. I had noticed several undead humans in the FHC taven and thought this an inappropraite place for such creatures. Instead, I created a series of pit cells adjacent to the barracks, and ordered the undead cast into the pit. Sadly, while being transferred to their new homes, they escaped from their captors and went on a rampage.
They were soon dispatched, but not without heavy casualties.
This of course necessitated the expansion of the tombs, though the dwarves were slow to bury their dead and several rotted in place.
Shortly afterwards, a fourth forgotten beast arrived.
It proceeded to the cavern tavern, where it was promptly killed by the revelers within.
Doren Shemrithar, captain of Phalanx I, who was in the tavern on his own business, is credited with the kill—his first blood.
While waiting for the pump stack to build, I also started walling off a section of the caverns adjacent to the tavern.
Soon after the new year, on 3rd Granite, 109, a fifth forgotten beast appeared in the caverns below the fort.
I sent the Cavern Axes after it, but it quickly eviscerated two legendary axe dwarves who were caught in its webs. I ordered a retreat, and left the beast to its haunt. Eventually it was killed by a blind cave ogre, who also perished in the fight.
Another goblin siege arrived, and was swiftly defeated by our mighty military, with no casualties.
And then a sixth forgotten beast arrived.
I did not bother to dispatch the military; it soon met its doom at the hand of some cavern creatures, unseen and unrecognized.
By midautumn of 109, the glorious moment had arrived: the pump stack was complete and ready to be activated. On 12th Sandstone, the pumps began to turn. On 13th Sandstone, the lava channel was cut, and on 20th Sandstone the final piece of the system, the magma drain channel grate, was placed. With grand ceremony I ordered the lever pulled! Magma began to rise almost fifty levels into the heart of the fortress, into the newly constructed forging zone.
I also set up an obsidian farm, which, of course worked perfectly, because I designed it.
Let it be known that, from this moment forth, 20th Sandstone shall be a holiday in the halls of Knifering!
Of course this was the perfect moment for a seventh forgotten beast to arrive.
It proceeded to the tavern, where it killed most of the people inside, a total of 12 in all. Eventually it was struck down, but in the chaos nobody knows who struck the final blow.
With the magma system working, I turned my attention to more mundane matters, like providing sleeping quarters for the 202 dwarves who call the fortress home. Morale was sagging after nearly two years of forced labor and rapid population growth, so I ordered the construction of nearly 100 new beds and bedrooms.
I will close my journal by recounting the story of the human maceman, Batow Firetwisted. Somehow, unknown to history, this monster hunter managed to find her way into the lower caverns—perhaps when the pump stack was under construction. Alone, she ventured forth into the dense underlichen. Despite being offered a way home, through a door constructed for this purpose, and despite having lost her weapon somewhere in the caverns, she refused to come in from the cold and has, for nearly a year, subsisted on cave vermin and fungus.
In the closing months of my reign, two more forgotten beasts appeared in the lower caverns, the eighth and ninth of my tenure.
These firey beasts soon set most of the lower caverns aflame.
Since their arrival, the beasts have hounded Batow, but Batow remains undefeated. She has engaged them in the water, nullifying the effect of their fire breath, but lacking a weapon has been unable to damage them. Somehow, they are unable to damage her, and she is able to run away faster than they can chase.
I pray that the next commander of the fort finds a way to rescue her.
And thus, on 1 Granite, in the year of Armok 110, I turned over command of the fort peacefully. Some problems for future intendants include dealing with the two forgotten beasts lurking in the lower caverns, and, most importantly, solving the fort's morale problem before a tantrum spiral begins.
I wish you good luck.
------------------------------------
Year 110 - LobbyZ
On the year of 110 with the blessing of Arnok and all the gods, I took over yet again. Oh boy has the reports streaming in worried me greatly.
Kivish dead.. How could this be? Who would let sucH a glorious badass die? It would explain why so many issues happened after her death especially with... the Genocide(TM) by ruler Venec. But enough of that.
I took over and went through what seemed like a gigantic expansion to the fort. We got power plants, huge forges and smelters run by unlimited lava and more exploration of the caverns. I also saw how filthy and muddy the main areas of the fort was so I set out to try clean the place up, no respecting dwarf would live in a mud pile. That's for Goblins. Speaking of goblins, there was a raid right away. Like the day after I took over. Bad omen? Perhaps. I looked over our military and it has expanded quite nicely to over fifty dwarfs in different setups although mismatching and weird weapons.. Like what is a crossbow? They told me it's some sort of ranged weapons. Bah, in this fort we look at the enemy's eyes as we slaughter them. Melee only!
So I ordered them to set out and stomp the goblins which they did with pretty much no losses. I believe they tried to save their captured comrades so naturally as any good dwarf do, we executed them all. Not quickly of course, that'd be mercy to these animals. We chained them up in a chamber and locked the doors. One of my aides heard through the door that they wanted to buy their freedoms and when they didn't get a response, they kept cursing us but the mood got very silent after as the water started rushing into the chamber. We drowned all prisoners and executed the rest with the dog army when they refused to cooperate.
This fort believes in a no-goblin zone. I expect the next rulers to uphold that. Also got a request from.. The guild of Love? To establish a doctor's guild? I thought we used science here, not rampant deviancy.
Days and weeks went by with no threats really so I focused more on expanding our tombs, guildhalls and bedrooms. A minotaur showed up but was quickly slayed. Kivish would be proud.
Then disaster struck. Quite a big one. First we get raided by a sizable goblin army, like 10 to twenty. We lost like four dwarves to them. Then right away during that battle? A huge powerful undead army pops in with several monsters. Another ten or so dwarves dead. Some months go by and... Some goblin army wanted to parley. I told them to fuck off.
They sieged with over FIFTY goblins cladded with iron and more. I told my army to group up and engage in force but they were too eager. They managed to get a good number of soldiers ready and marched.
We lost a lot. We started with 201 dwarves when I took over and ended up around 161 when I left. Forty dwarves lost to animals. I reorganized the army to only wear steel and disarmed the crossbows from the squad to allow them to pick up melee.
There was also a incursion by a Forgotten Beast but it was slayed by a Miner. Kivish was reborn so my people said so I made a statue of said Miner picking the beast apart with ease.
A direct hole to magma was built and I ordered the throwing of every. single. piece. of. clothing. Most of it was taken from previous raids after all. My aides said it was up to like five thousand items.
The year is 111. Jack the Radical Dwarf will have a lot on his hands to help uplift the mood of our people. I wish him the best of lucks..
Pics in no particular order:
DROWN
Yesssss
DOomed indeed
Oddly named guild for doctors, Dr. Strangelove
Worst army ever.
------------------------------------
Year 111 - Hels
Alright no RP this time, just a stream of thought.
Anyway, took over the fort for the weekend since Jack is apparently 'too tired' to play what accounts to an idle game.
I was greeted with a whopping 20 FPS and frankly a total fucking mess of a fort. Lobby had done most of the hard work in settting up a massive list of dump and burn orders that throughout the year would eventually recover a whopping 25% of my FPS, along with a mass butcher order for everything that wasn't useful immediately to the fort. So namely, everything but alpacas and puppies. Fight me.
So after my initial glance over and dismay at the sheer mess everything was, we got a couple of these:
So naturally, I went into the burrow section to get everyone secured inside so we could just utilize the grinder and everything would be fine.
It wasn't fine. As there had been exactly 0 burrows setup that were of any use to anyone, instead lining the corridor, the cavern tavern and the walls. Very cool, very useful. So after designating the living areas I assigned everyone inside and to my dismay watched for the next two weeks while dwarfs continued to run outside to grab things, and this one mad lass
Decided to take her sweet fucking time getting inside. I eventually lost my patience, checked her file, saw she was frankly expendable, and clicked the NO on the parley. Surprisingly, that motivated her to make it inside.
But not the human... something or other that decided to warm up the grinder. Oh well.
Success boys.
With that small distraction handled I started searching the depths for what candy I could find. My search was fruitless so finding a spire looking construct with a bunch of diamonds sticking out, I started digging. Eventually spawning this bastard who promptly ate three expendable miners.
Well shit. I mass ordered the military to get on it, expecting a bit of a blood bath, and well...
Nevermind, also, water
We kept probing at the depths, winding around hot and wet stones, before striking paydirt baby.
Very cool, and no more angels. I went looking for the Baron to give them the new bling, and turns out, we somehow don't have one, very cool. So I gave it all to the mayor because why the fuck not.
Also, shit
Ok nevermind, good boy war doggo.
Oh goddammit what now?
Alright, second time these fuckers have shown up at the SE corner, so, taking a page out of The Vietnam War, a picture book for children, we began digging, while they waited for my answer.
Get surprised, idiots.
I set about fortifying the position with a wooden bunker for even better surprises next time, however, something grabbed my attention.
Well that's not good.
Apparently all of that puke is from the hammerer, who, in a stroke of managerial perfection, is a massive pussy and lost his lunch over a single hit to the stomach.
With that all kinda cleaned up and a minor tantrum spiral beginning, I was wondering if this would be the end of the fort. Luckily, the caravan arrived. Still wanting some of my FPS back, I marked just about everything that was trash and lying around to go to the depot.
Blaze it.
Unfortunately, they couldn't carry nearly enough, so I just overloaded them with the gem bins to make the fort export value as high as I could. Because why not. Besides, we had mined a ton of diamonds by this point. So lets go.
Oh goddammit.
I saw the creature for a single frame before the disappeared again. Suspecting some vile tactic, like, hiding, I sent a squad to search the forest. They came up empty handed, so, I expected they would show themselves in due time, or just left the map, seeing how fucked we were already and their OCD overloading their brains.
Meanwhile, moods had slowly begun turning sour, and they weren't helped by the 15 or so raids I embarked on over the fall season. As things were starting to hit the fan, I started making some drastic changes. First, I gathered all the disgruntled fuckers into their own squad. If they weren't happy here, I'd send them off to conquer somewhere else where they wouldn't be my problem anymore.
And it worked.
So seeing this rousing success, I started sending a few more disgruntled, useless fucks over to bring our average happiness up just a few more notches.
Don't like it here? Fucking leave.
Anyway, all told we killed 3 forgotten beasts, two goblin raids, razed a goblin camp, conquered another, and secured annual tribute from another. Banned a poet because fuck them, and all in all, for the price of maybe 14 dorfs? Not the worst showing. Also, FPS went from 20 to 27. So, Lobby did something right for once, and I secured the meat stockpile for the next 5 years or so. You're fucking welcome.
------------------------------------
And thus, with Knifering prospering under the previous administrations, it was time for our management team to embark on a new adventure. Heading north to the rich platinum deposits that have been spoken about in whispers, a new Fort was set up, "Failmountains". Let us hope this fort is as successful as Knifering.
Originally Posted by Djan Seriy Anaplian
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